«She must have been paid a lot of money to fuck this asshat.»
Over the last few years, this short and clever educational video has made its way around the internet, and Baylor University even began showing it to incoming freshmen. The video analogises an offer of tea with seduction. You only make someone tea if that person explicitly expresses a desire for tea and—the video tells us—sex is no different. While the video aims to educate men on the importance of receiving explicit verbal consent for sexual activity, it does so via a clumsy and unhelpful characterization of sex as a simple transaction. To pretend otherwise is to endorse a crudely transactional view of sex that favors men and, if accepted by young women, exposes them to the possibility of real psychological and emotional harm. Consent, it must be emphasized, is extremely important.
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Still Don’t Understand Sexual Consent? It’s Like a Cup of Tea, Says This Brilliant PSA
Consent Isn’t Everything and Sex Is Not Like Tea - Quillette
Samantha Pegg does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment. A cartoon that explains how understanding sexual consent is as straightforward as making a cup of tea is doing the rounds. The law is a lot more complicated than this video suggests but it has got discussion going. It is true, as the animation makes clear, that agreement is not unequivocal. And, as the video reminds us, it is true that wanting a cup of tea or sex one day does not automatically equate to wanting it at another time. But there are limits to this analogy. Drunken consent is a common issue.
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No, sexual consent is not like drinking tea
Being intimate or social with someone does not automatically lead to sexual intercourse. Dating, flirting, kissing or being intimate do not convey consent to sex. Consenting in the past or being in a relationship does not mean consent is automatically given in the future. Responsibility for rape rests solely with the perpetrator.
But the comparison is not only effective, it quite clearly condemns any attempts to claim murkiness around the subject. Because if you get when it is and isn't OK to serve tea, you can't really claim ignorance when your initially willing partner slips into unconsciousness. The animation was created by Blue Seat Studios , using copy written by blogger Rockstar Dinosaur Pirate Princess, whose original text you can read here.